Some Thoughts this Winter

Posted on December 26, 2009 by Sy

The Boxing Day sales have arrived, and I’m yet to see anything that could be described as a bargain. What happened to the credit crunch?
The new Calvin Harris Album is excellent
Why is it no matter how much you earn, it’s never enough. When does that turn around?
I finally got my Dad from IE7 / Outlook Express to Chrome / Thunderbird
Thought about moving to Gmail myself to cloudsource myself… can’t see the benefit yet though
Tom Davenport will run the Wiltshire massive one day, and is more geeky than I am
It’s nearly 2010, we’re 10 years into the future, and 5 years from hover skateboards

This has been said before, but it bares recording here. Google will soon have their own Phone, running their own Phone OS, with their own Voice over IP application. So in effect, if I bought a google phone, all I need a network for is a data plan. This means 02 and Vodafone are in serious danger of becoming a commodity provider. Why in the world described above would I want to buy an Apple Phone to pay for my voice calls & pay for data on top?

Finally – time to chill.

Posted on March 7, 2009 by Sy

Yes that’s a kung fu squirrel…

The cold is wearing off, the panic and shock to the system of having to be up at 7am, working like a dog all day, then hitting the gym, then trying to have an evening… is finally letting up.

When something is rare, we tend to value it more. Except steak, that always has to be medium rare to be perfect. My point is; I’ve been busy, its the weekend & by God am I glad that first week is out of the way. Why I had to have the worst cold in a long time, during my first week of work in a long time I’m still unsure. It is mighty cruel though.

Things I’ve noticed. Getting up early is as easy as putting on a pair of trousers. It’s an old habit, that even if neglected for a little while just falls right back into place. Kudos to my Mum for making me go to school for all those years. Mad respek.

For the first few days I was in a virus and shock laden bubble. Nothing in the world seemed the same as before. It was always dark & I had way less energy. Which sucked, because I like being me. It’s fun, you get to look at life from a funny angle and go “heh, that’s weird” a lot. Which is just about my favourite thing outside Malteasers, and a good hips to waist ratio (you’d think those two are diametrically opposed, but no!).

Going into an office where everyone is overworked and super busy is a new experience. A growing company is a great place to be for your career & the kind of company that buys a Nintendo Wii as a raffle prize to raise money for comic relief… clearly is ahead of the curve. (Ohh, cliché, £1 in the cliché tin).

Which leads me to; it took THREE days before I heard a management cliché! No blue sky thinking, or outside the box crap. No synergy, very little touching base. It’s a good sign because people are being direct. Not the kind of being direct that is a “core coporate value”. The kind of direct where you ask someone to look at a database and they tell you “It’s broken, I will when it’s fixed”. Respek nummer two.

Now for a little break in my rant. Breathe. Take a little look out of the window. Yeah go on, it’s a nice enough day. Think about animals. I enjoy doing that.

So where do I go from here? Coventry? Alaska? The dark side of the moon?

Well promotion is earned not given. It takes daily effort & I’m more than happy to put that in. Can I? Will I? With every fibre in my body I’ll push. If there’s something to learn, google has the answers, the overviews & templates done by other people to steal. Living in the information age means knowing the question is now as important if not more so than knowing the answer. Fingers crossed. X marks the spot.

Scatterbrain

Posted on February 4, 2009 by Sy

Things running through my head:

Watching the new season of 90210 was weird. The old show looks so dated and kitsch now, but this new one has bright colours and looks like entourage. So I’m thinking “woah it got good”, but then it has the perfect family in the middle and can’t resist being cheesy. Heh.

Progress huh? There is this one girl who is mixed race, has amazing eyes. Anyways, her whole weekend was put on hold so she could hang out with her dad. Who turned up, gave her a car and left. She later founds out, he left because he’s having an affair on her mum. I just thought. OUCH. Take that materialism.

I promise myself and the universe. I’ll never be the guy that values money over my time. Time with people is all we have.

The new Rise Against album is amazing. I’m a huge fan of the band. It’s pretty easy to see why people wouldn’t be straight away. They sound like a lot of bands in there genre. Put them next to NoFX and they could be a clone. But there is something about the harmonies & the lyrics that is a different class. The patterns please me in a classical way, marry that with brilliant lyrics and you have yourself a good combo. Shame their politics are left of Mao.

We’re all ok, until the day we’re not
The surface shines, while the inside rots
We raced the sunset and we almost won
We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on

Word to the Jen. Bowie is so smart she can like trashy tv ironically.

Is it just me, or do you ever get so stuck into something that seemed brilliant yesterday… that just isn’t today. Midnight mania is always best tempered with dawn doubt. Amazing how the time of day affects creativity, emotion & your reactions.

that’s when I told her
I love you girl
but I’m not the answer for
the questions that you still have

I get to see Russell Brand tonight. You’d be suprised how difficult it’s been to get people to come along with me. Spare tickets, may even go to waste! Shocking.

I need money

Spirit/Earthy Good… Technology Bad?

Posted on January 27, 2009 by Sy

The question of whether technology was getting in the way of what it is to be human came up today… and for once it was a jump off point for me.

I know its a cliché to start with a dictionary definition but stick with me. The definition of human provides an interesting vantage point. Perhaps more so than other word definitions because it seems to acknowledge how the word does not simply name a species, but comes packaged with characteristics, observe;

Quote:

1. of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or having the nature of people: human frailty.
2. consisting of people: the human race.
3. of or pertaining to the social aspect of people: human affairs.
4. sympathetic; humane: a warmly human understanding. –noun
5. a human being.

It’s not until the very end the species is defined, and even then it is (perhaps purposefully) not genially linked with primates. So humanity itself is not seen as a machine, or technological. Scientists would define a human very differently.

It appears we define ourselves as frail, caring & social creatures. To have a “human” quality is a good thing. So from that you could extrapolate that we also believe deep down we are at our core: good. Despite the many ailments and mistakes we have made, the interesting way in which a word is defined by how it is used is a clue, and a great starting point for discussing what it is to be human. It’s interesting that emotions, rather than intellect is what defines us. Despite all our advancements, we define our world by how we feel about it.

How Technology & spirituality are viewed.

People have a tendency see the technology and spirituality as fundamentally opposed. Technology on the one hand is most often associated with pollution, corporations and greed. While ‘spirituality’ is given a special reverence by 99% of us, even if we are critical of the larger organised religion. Most of us have some belief. There are exceptions of course to both view points, but for the sake of discussion the assumption “spirituality good”, “technology bad” is what I want to examine.

It could be fairly argued that technology has helped us more than hindered. After all technology took us from small groups of hunter gatherers, to the top of the food chain. Because of technology, even those in poverty live better than wild animals. We often don’t associate things like Farming, making fire or medicine as technology. Yet fire was the iphone of it’s day, providing warmth, cooking food and scaring off potential predators. We may have thanked the sky for the fire God, but it was the technology that allowed us to harness fire, not an emotion or belief.

So technology appears to suffer from an image problem. Is there is something all together sinister about technology? It can certainly appear that way. Between robots taking over the world, and nuclear holocaust, we seem pretty convinced technology will be our undoing. We don’t trust it because it seems cold and we cannot relate to it (well some of us feel that way). and lets face it, technology hasn’t alwats been perfect, it brought us the Atomic bomb, Asbestos and The Crazy Frog.

Yet our technology reflects us, we created tools, tools that reflect our needs… and we don’t always like our reflection. Technology is created to solve a problem efficiently. It is not often made to make us feel good. The technology that is, we tend to love!

Spirituality too has caused it’s wars & had its problems. The majority of human conflict even in this “enlightened” age comes from spiritual belief. Despite being associated with all that is good, spirituality has its darker side. Like technology, belief has been used to harm as well as help.

Religions have their own view of why those wars and problems exist, but very rarely accept fault for it. Spirituality has systematically escaped blame for a lot of its crimes (can you think of a religion that apologises often?). But… and this is a big round jello But… Religion and spirituality are also the greatest force for good in humanity. It is a conduit for charity & acts as a moral boundary to our dark side. Spirituality can do what technology often can’t, it makes us feel better. It serves that purpose well.

Humanity as a species, is at its happiest when not thinking and simply connected with life and the feeling of being alive. There are many disciplines of meditation, but most have the same goal. A clear mind, and the wave of endorphins that follow. We have for a long time associated that much more with our brand of religion or spirituality, rather than the discipline of mediation or the good fortune of “being”. In effect the good feeling we get from meditating allows us to think “Spirituality good” in simple terms.

Technology was not created to make us feel good, and yet now it surrounds us. So we find ourselves wondering “why doesn’t technology make me feel good like spirituality does”. We are a silly species.

Spirituality vs Technology; battle to the inevitible compromise.

So to the question of does technology separate us from God? There is no clear answer. Especially when the nature of “God” is so very subjective.

The more interesting question is can technology separate us from God?

One would think a harmonious being like a God would not need to conflict with simple technology. Technology itself simply is. It cannot be good or evil unless it is used by a human. It cannot drive us, unless it is first driven. By its very nature it is incapable of judgement or malice. Yes we can be seduced to by it, and yes it can be misused. But misusing technology, or creating bad technology is a human choice. Technology then is a reflection of humanity and an extension of it.

Technology could not separate us from God by the definition of omnipitence or omnipresence. The argument that it distracts or seduces us, is essentially another judgement of humanity. It is a simple disagreement about how to live.

Spirituality does not need to argue with technology, although it consistently finds itself doing so. It is a system of belief that has come about from two things. Our emotional need to love and care, combined with a desire to feel better in tough times. When we need to feel better, our mind gets creative. Psychologists call it “justifying”. It is the same behaviour a junkie uses to explain away their addiction… and indeed we are addicted to feeling good.

So why would spirituality need to deionise technology? It’s an interesting question, since on the basic level there isnt a single peice of kit that would argue with the concept of a loving parental “God”. Yet when we justify, we don’t try to think simply. If we’re creating something to make us feel better, why stop at a loving God? Why not have a loving God who will tell you off if you don’t follow the current moral consensus? That too would make you feel better about how you live your life.

So when spirituality makes us feel good. Being connected with the earth makes us feel good… yet we still feel bad. What can we blame?

It suits the agenda of some spiritualists to claim technology is separating us from God.

1) It’s a pretty easy scape goat
2) Humans remember technology going wrong, no matter how much it goes right.

Feeling good about technology?

I believe the idea of a God that separates us from life, which is all around us. A parental, omnipotent figure of judgement and wisdom is more likely to guilt is into behaving, than persuade us. The “being” part of a “Human being” is often overlooked. Through meditation and many other avenues we can enjoy life, with technology or without it. So the question remains…

What is it to be human?

To be human is to be curious.

You can feel good by meditating, listening to your instincts or even listening to music. Enjoy it

Resurrection

Posted on January 7, 2009 by Sy

Well since my alternative outlet for ranting was largely viewed as a place by which jealous motherfuckers could select, dissect and then misinterpret my thoughts… I figured why not go back to having a real life blog. All in one place. Over the coming weeks, I’m gonna update this place with the best of my facebook notes, leaving this the one stop place for all your Sy ranting deliciousness.

Things I’ve been thinking about:

The Rocky Bar my well be the best named chocolate on the planet. It is named after the worlds greatest movie, which makes me wonder, why isn’t there a “power bar” supplement called the “Balboa Bar”. I’d buy it.

Is it just me, or does Blockbuster video seem a little 90s these days? Renting a DVD is such a waste of time when you can just download and burn. Woo.

People actually wonder why guys hate christmas. But when we get bedsheets as a main present, you have to wonder why we could possibly like it. Audi A5 pls?

Is there room for one more net comic out there, provided the humour was original, and the associated blogs both entertaining and original?

Californication is the best show on TV. The artist within character from Season 2 is like an amalgamation of two former acquaintances of mine, and a very amusing reminder why a little dose of cynicism is a healthy thing.

Be well blogshpere. Until next time, I have one testicle. You are anonymous.

Just being.

Posted on September 10, 2008 by Sy

Just being. It’s amazing. I connect that to my philosophy of humanity being beautifully flawed. If we were perfect we could not have created art, music or films. Perfection is boring, but enduring human spirit is incredible. That human spirit, being; being inspired, and now about to learn how the universe began…

That human spirit doesn’t need an end point to be happy.
That human spirit doesn’t need a father figure to be happy
That human spirit doesn’t even need an afterlife to be happy.

Those three things are ways to avoid being sad. Being happy is a case of just being.

I’m not about to live my life avoiding sadness, hurt or failure. Those three things make me who I am. Having had cancer, rejecting the disease and using that as motivation to succeed in life, I see no need for divinity. Having stared death in the face, I didn’t reach out for an afterlife, I just hoped I would be remembered.

And you know what? I’m pretty certain the people I’ve met would remember me. For being a good person, an interesting person, and one not afraid to question perceived wisdom. Question everything. Somebody else’s answer may not always work for you. Especially if you don’t share their insecurities.

What is the point in being alive, and being free thinking, if we just accept 2000 year old stories about the nature of existence?

Life is what YOU make of it. Not what someone else made of it.

Questions, Answers & Meaning

Posted on March 20, 2008 by Sy

When were you happiest?
Hard to say, Im always pretty happy. Getting the “all clear” was pretty good, and being in the VIP areas of Vegas knowing that my life is amazing too. But often the best moments are listening to music on a train adoring the scenery, or even just looking out of the window while a breeze hits you. Life is joy.

What is your greatest fear?
Success and failure.

Earliest memory
Pushing my head against the cot at about 18 months old.

Which living person do you most admire?
Living… Hard to say. Anyone who has achieved and is happy in their life. We can learn from everyone. Whether its what to do, or what not to do.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My lazyness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Two faced people. The only thing required to be a friend of mine is honesty. Anyone who bitches behind my back quickly becomes a former friend.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Meh. Who knows.

Excluding property, what’s the most expensive thing that you’ve ever bought?
Probably my car.

What is your most treasured possession?
Life, then health. This year brought that home to me. After that my PC. Not because its amazing (and it is), but because it has all my music, films, photos and best work. It contains my ideas and is a reflection of the world I live in.

Where would you like to live?
Probably Malibu, or Miami.

What would your super power be?
Life is amazing because its a struggle. Success is only pleasurable because we have to work for it. I’m actually not sure I’d want to remove that mechanism. Although I would love the Orgasmo ray from Orgasmo. I have something similar in glove form though.

What makes you depressed?
Very few things, it has to be a pretty big build up of lots of stuff.
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What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Right now, probably that my body still is quite where I want it, and I don’t have the budget for all the various clothing looks Id like to have. But my image is something I took years to find. Im quite happy with it.

Would you rather be clever and ugly, or thick and attractive?
Im quite happy being clever and attractive thank you. Casanova was UGLY. Appearance has nothing to do with being attractive.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Who could play me?

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
I don’t really know. I like all of lifes pleasures and admit to them.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Some say arrogance. I say fuck them.

What is your fantasy fancy dress costume of choice?
Surfer always.

What is your current Favourite word
Constabulary. It doesn’t mean anything like what you’d expect it to. “Con” and “stab” and burly almost sounds like a crime.

What is your favourite smell?
Good question. It depends on the time of day and the mood. Early on a Sunday, bacon. Late evening on a Saturday, womenz.

What is your favourite book?
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It speaks to my raw evangelical positive views of life.

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
I think it’s a good thing that I can’t remember. People can be as nasty as they like. I know who my real friends are.

Cat or dog?
Dog, every single time. Look a playful dog in the eye and tell me they are not angels of joy.

What or who is the greatest love of your life
The sheer randomness, vastness and brilliance of people and the world they inhabit. I like lots of things many people see as apposing. I love sport and I love politics. I love philosophy and materialistic, simple human pleasures. I love how there is so much to learn, I love how I feel when I understand something better. I love helping people learn. I adore affection and being affectionate. I love how life has no rules but those you make yourself. I love how as humans we are truly free. I love how anything is possible.

Is it better to give or to receive?
Such an open ended question, and a tad cliché. It depends on the situation and who’s involved. Its often better to teach someone how to provide for themselves than to just hand out. (Looky, I found secret option C)

What do you owe your parents?
I owe my mum everything. She is an example of true unconditional love and happiness. She is constantly happy to see me, and always supportive. For her I want to succeed and make her proud. I want to be remembered in history as a great person, in honour of how well my mother raised me. I am nothing but the product of an incredible upbringing, with some travel and soul searching thrown in.
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If you could go back in time, where would you go?
The 1960s. I think its the most interesting period in human history. It was the first socially mobile generation, it saw the invention of the “teenager”. It was also the time of biggest change, the height of the cold war. I love the iconography, the music and the feel of it all.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To anyone who was ever offended or hurt by me. It has never been my intention.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being who I am. How can you encapsulate 23 years of achieving in a paragraph?

What does love feel like?
Bubblewrap. Emotionally and in terms of pure satisfaction

The best kiss of your life
The next.

Have you ever said I love you and not meant it.
Yup. Although in retrospect, I have since denounced the idea of “love” as a lifetime achievement and measuring stick of your success in society. It may sound nihilistic but “Love” as we know it was invented by advertising to sell a product. The world drops a whole load of rules on you to sell those products. Those rules don’t exist, and success comes to those who realise that

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria (when her hair was longer). Im still pushing for that sandwich.

Which living person do you most despise and why?
I try not to despise people, but certainly their actions I can deplore. Right now I hate those who are two faced. I hate when someone is so convinced that their world view is right, that they will continue with a negative status quo to keep it, especially in the geopolitical arena.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Depends on the week, I’m a MEME addict.

Biggest disappointment
Indie music. Whats the point? It’s safe, establishment pop. I wouldn’t mind if they admitted it, but they act like its so fucking edgy. It’s not at all. Hendrix would roll over in his grave, and Sid Vicious would be on stage trying to beat the shit out of the Arctic Pop Band.

If you could edit your past, what would you change
My school years were pretty boring. A typical “If I knew then what I know now”… but I wouldn’t be me then would I.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
Cleaning runny doggy poo whilst a funeral was going on downstairs.

When did you last cry and why?
When I heard the news I had the all clear. I wonder why…

How do you relax?
Stabbing cats.

How often do you have sex?
Varies greatly, but then so does my libido. I’ve gone through stages where its super regular in and out of relationships, and stages where I’m more dry. It’s not my primary motivation the majority of the time, but with that said I’m heading to Cancun Tuesday. Its one of those, the more I get, the more I want things.

What is the closest you’ve come to death?
Stepped out in front of a few cars and busses in my time.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A solid job offer in LA.

What keeps you awake at night?
Insomnia mostly. I’m a nightcrawler with ADD.

How would you like to be remembered?
As someone who came, saw and enjoyed life. If I want to leave this world anything, it would be the understanding of the variety of subjects I enjoy. Or at least the passion to gain that understanding.

What song would you like played at your funeral
Incubus – Make yourself.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
If I hadn’t made me
I would have been made somehow
If I hadn’t assembled myself, I’d have fallen apart by now…
If you let them make you
They make you paper mushe
At a distance you’re strong
Until the wind comes
Then you crumble and blow away

If you let them fuck you
There will be no foreplay
Rest assured they’ll screw you complete
Turn your asshole blue and grey.

You should make amends with you
If only for better health
But if you really want to LIVE
Why not try, and make yourself
Make. Yourself.
MAKE… YOURSELF!!

Where would you most like to be right now?
On a beach in Cancun.

Tell us a joke.
No

Tell us a secret.
Do I have any? I can tell an interesting story. I once swallowed a 10p. Throwing and catching is more difficult than you would first thing when you have poor depth perception.

Why I couldn’t sleep

Posted on January 24, 2008 by Sy

I went to the doctors earlier today, and I knew they were going to tell me off for having missed appointments over christmas (I was ill), and then re-arranging one to go to Vegas. I still went there quite confident my recent pains were the remains of infection that just WONT go away.

My reasoning is this, The pain got worse after I stopped antibiotics, it hit me on a flight to Vegas, and gave me upset stomach and gurgling. A few days later it subsided. So I get to the oncology ward, my usual bouncy quite happy self, and they make me wait JUUUUUUST long enough to be bored and not quite so happy.

I head in, and get said bollocking, and they mention the sample they took of my wee had no sign of infection. My first though is why would it? The infection isn’t in my bladder… but then surely and infection infects all of you?… But then I was on the antibiotics at the time I gave the sample.

Anyways, all this stuff is swirling around my head instead of sleep. That and discomfort in the lower abdomen and around sensitive parts. I’m writing this out to hope maybe it will leave my head. But how are you supposed to sleep when all you can think is “what if?”

What if I have to shave my head?
What if it spreads to the other ball, no kids?

The worst part about it all is I just want to curl up and hug.

I dont get like this often, I mean its SUPER rare. Normally I want to be the life of the party, and Ive been especially horny and outgoing lately too.

I’m scared. I admit it. Its 4am and I cant sleep.

I wonder whats on BBC news 24.

(Edit, Jan 09: What was interesting about this blog was who didn’t respond to it)

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